The Titanic is one of my all time favorite movies. I remember the first time I saw it I thought for sure Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet must have truly been in love because it is the most realistic portrayal of a love story that I’ve ever seen. I remember sobbing while watching thinking that I was never going to know that kind of love. (Thankfully I was wrong.)
In the movie, Jack tells Rose of his true feelings. He also tells her: “They’ve got you trapped Rose and you’re gonna die if you don’t break free.”
Obviously, Rose’s fiancé was no Prince Charming, but the one scene in the movie where he became angry at Rose after her escapades in the lower deck with Jack the night before was a reminder of the life I was living at that time. In that scene he violently throws the table to the side while the dishes crash to the ground filling Rose with fear. Standing just a few inches from her face he reminds her that she belongs to him and shall do as he commands.
Unfortunately in that actual time period, this was commonly the behavior of many men. Men were permitted to hit “their” women if they felt it necessary. It was definitely a sign that Rose’s future with him was almost guaranteed to turn more violent.
Now this is just a movie and we all know that Rose chooses Jack over the pompous ass that she is engaged to, but I bet many women watching this movie, like me, could relate to that feeling of being trapped. I felt trapped and to be honest, if I hadn’t broken free I could really have died. Either by the hand of my abuser or my own. Lord knows I had considered it, even tried.
Many men and women today think they have the right to hit their partner leaving them feeling like they are trapped and if they don’t break free they may die. Being trapped in a relationship with someone who uses control and violence can feel like death. You lose who you are, you lose your self-esteem, you lose purpose. Some welcome death over living this way. No one should live that way. I was lucky enough to get out, but so many aren’t.
If you are trapped in abusive relationship, please know that there is a way out. There is help out there. If you don’t know where to turn, please ask. I would be glad to help you.
For help or if you just need to talk…firstname.lastname@example.org.