So for those of you who have read my blogs (especially my last one), you know that I have a lot of faith. My husband does not share that overwhelming faith in God. He actually told me a while back that he had lost his faith. I knew before he told me, but hearing him say that was a bit heart breaking, but also gave me a bit of hope. A person who can admit that they’ve lost faith has hope for finding it again.
I’m not the kind of person that shoves religion or my religious beliefs down the throats of those I know unless they ask or I know it’s safe to discuss with them. I also don’t try to beat it into my husband’s head. I pray for him all the time. I ask God to fill his heart and give him his faith back.
It’s very difficult to live with someone who is so far on the other side of faith as you. There have been times where he’s even said he’s not sure if he believes in God anymore. I know in his younger days, he made some questionable choices and strayed far from God and that has caused doubt in him. It absolutely crushes me that he doesn’t know God like I do. The good news is I know that God can move mountains and because of my strong faith, I believe that my husband will find his faith. I’m sure of it. The key is my husband has to be open to it. He has to want to hear what God has in store for him.
Earlier this week I prayed extra hard for my husband asking God to fill him with His word and lead him down the path of righteousness. That same night my husband asked me to help him find his faith. I had asked God to speak to him and He did. I was so excited. It will be a slow journey to get him there, but he wants to get there and that is all we need.
Today while I was doing my Bible study, I was reading through Luke. I was reminded of the Parable of the Sower. “5 A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. 6 Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” “11This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12 Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”
I had to send this to my husband. It was so fitting I thought. There have been times where he was so excited about God and he was sure he existed, but then we would hit one of life’s normal roadblocks and the stress would consume him and he would start to doubt. The doubt would overtake him and he would question everything. He’d think ‘How can there be a God if He would let this happen?’. He couldn’t even tell that was the devil talking. He wanted to hear God, but he just doesn’t have good soil yet. He is more like the thorns. The word gets choked and he loses his faith. This will be the basis of what I use to help him find his faith and keep it. We have to work the ground and make the soil good and fertile so that he can make it through life’s worries and his seeds continue to grow and blossom.
I’m excited to go through the journey with him. I’m looking forward to helping him find God and a strong faith that he can keep as we grow old together.