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Fear

Most everyone has at least one fear.  Fear of spiders; fear of dying; fear of tight spaces.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having fear.  Some fears seem rather unwarranted and strange, but they are very real to those who fear them.

For me, I have a few fears.  Mostly normal…I think.

My longest running fear is a fear of cockroaches.  I can’t stand the nasty little things.  I can’t really kill them either unless no one is around then I will drown them with spray bleach and leave them for someone else to pick up.  The idea of stepping on them gives me willies…the crunch of their body under my foot…no way man!  Living in Texas did not help this fear.  Those suckers have wings and can fly.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more afraid of heights.  I never was when I was young, but seem to be now.  I don’t full on panic, but I can’t get too close to a ledge or window from a tall building without getting this strange feeling inside.  Getting on a roller coaster is out of the question.  I’m not sure if I’m just afraid to fall or what, but this fear I hate.  I used to love roller coasters and my kids and husband still do, but me, well I have to sit at the exit gate and wait for them to have all the fun.

My last fear is one I’ve had since I was a teenager.  For those that know me this may seem strange, but I have a fear of calling people on the phone.  I handle most of my utilities and bills online and use email and text to communicate as much as possible.  If I need to resolve an issue with a provider and can’t do it online often times I just live with the issue rather than call them to get assistance.  When I was younger, I couldn’t call to order pizza delivery without having an anxiety attack.  I was thrilled when they developed an app for that.  For the last 15 years my job(s) required me to spend a lot of time on the phone with people.  This meant a lot of anxiety for me.  I don’t really have an issue when people call me it’s just calling them that I struggle with. I still call, and once I’m on the phone it’s all good, but the anxiety that builds before the call leaves knots in my muscles.  This fear I would call strange, but find that I’m not alone.  I’ve heard others, especially victims of abuse, have the same complex.  Why is it that abuse can affect us in such silly ways for the rest of our life?  One day, I will conquer this fear.  I am determined.

Do you have any strange fears?

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